Let's pledge to love ourselves.

By Maryam Ayub
4th Year MBBS

Every single one of us sees many tiny little flaws in our body or our personality. We can choose to ignore that nagging feeling that threatens to arise in back of our mind every time we stand in front a mirror OR we can choose to be defined by our flaws. I think most people jump back and forth between the two. Never completely unhappy with themselves but also never completely satisfied. I think that's probably a healthy attitude but the problem arises when we start getting fed up with ourselves or 'feel trapped in our bodies' as someone said to me a while ago (I think she wasn't completely serious )

I have seen people who really want to change themselves and I think it's a tremendous thing to actually work for something you really really want. But I also think it's really important to be happy with yourself each and everyday or atleast make peace with yourself. I have seen people who are stick thin starving themselves to be even thinner while being totally unhappy . Seriously, people should diet with a balanced mind. Even fad diets make you eat something. No person in his or her right mind should starve themselves (specially after twenty years because by that time if you are starving yourself, it means you already have a deficit of brain cells and certainly can't afford to lose any more). During weight loss regimen I just try really hard to never forget that I am doing all this for being healthier (though looking healthier won't hurt either) so my body won't be gaining much if I start fainting etc.

All around us we see people who are unhappy with their heights. I am around 5.2" and I rarely get to see full grown individuals shorter than me. Am I happy about it ? Hell no. Did I learn to be at peace with it when my younger sister started towering over me (I use the term towering pretty loosely ) . Yes , I did (albeit with little difficulty) and when my youngest sister grew taller than me, I didn't feel bad for myself at all. (though maybe I would have felt something if they were 5.10" instead of 5.5")

In our institutions we judge people a lot on their physical differences, on our speech, and even on our personalities. many a times I am among the people laughing at someone's super fake accent but at that moment it would  do me well to remember that I don't have an accent, even a fake one. Because my spoken English pretty much sucks (thanks to a great school which taught us a lot. Nearly everything except how to speak English fluently).

Every time we want to make fun of people or pass a negative comment , we should remember that all these differences are the things which make us, us. Most of times when we are feeling negative about ourselves , the reason is some snarky comment or a passive-aggressive remark about our body, our accent etc. Most of us don't know what is the deal with the whole positive-body-image thing. We want our girls to be thin, our boys to be reasonably thin and we will taunt them to 40kg (or to depression, whichever comes first ).

All around us we see slogans of religious tolerance  being raised when we can't even tolerate a few kgs or even hair without gel or straightening iron. We have been raised as a nation who thinks it knows what's right for everyone. They are hell bent on making you 'healthy' and 'fit' even if your body has its own definition of healthy. we think it's our birth right to correct English accent even  when someone is speaking perfectly understandable English. So let's pledge that before we make a snarky comment we will think of the havoc it can create in a person's specially a kid's life. It's time that we teach our kids to be happy with themselves, their bodies and their spirits.