A Day Well Spent; Behind The Last Bench

by lubaba mukhtar

There’s a fun in doing things that are unconventional and different. An onlooker, an ordinary student who sits “on” the bench and listens to lectures thinks that a student who hides behind the last bench is doing so just for the fun of it. But alas; not many can understand the dire circumstances and heart wrenching problems that pushed that poor soul behind the last bench.

Imagine for a moment the agony of sitting “on” a hard bench; imagine the pain that a person has to go through when he has to fake concentration on his face during a mind boggling, boring to death lecture; imagine the trouble he has to go through to stifle a wide, open mouthed, ugly yawn.

Yes, this is exactly how stupid you look when you yawn “on” the bench…

Nobody; seriously nobody looks pretty when yawning; it is an ugly phenomenon

 I admit that plugging headsets for music to avoid listening to the lecture can be easily accomplished while sitting “on” the bench, but just imagine the freedom, the liberty, the exuberance of sitting on the cold stone floor, away from curious staring eyes behind the last bench.

Sitting and enjoying the trip behind the last bench is not as easy as it looks, it is a very complicated procedure.

You need to have the right motives to go and sit in this awesome place. I can give a few good instances; you started a novel the previous night and you can just not wait for the dragging lecture to end and you need a little privacy from the world to finish off the novel: “behind the last bench is the perfect place to go.”

A class test has been announced or perhaps a stage is looming right ahead; “behind the last bench is the best place to concentrate on that bright red conspicuous BD that is so easily visible in the physiology lecture.”

You didn't have your required beauty sleep the previous night and you hate arching your back and lulling yourself to sleep with your head on the hard bench and the fear of becoming suddenly visible to the teacher; yes, again the best thing to do is to wipe off some off the dirt with your overall from the floor, use your bag as a pillow and lie down to a peaceful one hour nap behind the last bench (what’s a better lullaby than the sound of a boring lecture?)

I forgot to mention that you can take a small blanket in your bag; books can stay behind for a day, they won’t die without you!!

 You are extremely hungry, really want a snack; the best picnic spot is again behind the last bench.

Some of you would be confused as to why these behind the last benchers just don’t leave the class. Pretty simple; they sit in class to show their solidarity and harmony with their fellow students (and of course for the process that is absolutely life threatening for a poor medical student: THE attendance)

There are certain precautions to be taken if you wish to become a behind a last bencher.

You need to have loyal friends who will sit on the second last bench and hide your vast mass from the eyes of the teacher and will give you a back kick in warning if the teacher decides to tour the back benches out of the blue.

You need to have a very important weapon with you; it is impossible to become a behind the last bencher without this weapon: “a little courage and daring.”

You also need to possess some important qualities:

The ability to never feel humiliation or insult if and when you are caught,

And to tell the most beautiful and honest lies if and when you are caught.

You can perform all kinds of important tasks behind the last bench and believe me that a day behind the last bench is not a day wasted.

P.S: try this at your risk and any problems that arise should not be blamed on this innocent article.