Soon to be exiled 1st Years

BY LUBABA MUKHTAR 1st Year

The painful, lonely starting days at hostel were made all the way better when the bajis came to our rooms in the “extension of new hostel building” and announced with great pathos that their fate, when they had arrived as 1st years, had landed them among towering, raging and scary seniors of 4^th year and final year (that’s how we find the seniors until we are ragged), their sad faces clearly depicted that their fate had not played that good a game with them. Our poor seniors of 2^nd and 3^rd year had landed in already overcrowded rooms with walls showing intricate patterns of fungal growth, and if the helpless souls had had the bad luck of staying on a mattress in a basement room then they had the breath taking experience of sleeping amongst the original tenants of old girls’ hostel….still need to guess (mice and voles of course)!!!

And we 1^st years, were so smug on hearing these words (our fate had done us loads of good)…

                                 

Yeaaah! We rock!!!

                     

                                                But alas, nothing lasts forever, not even nice, newly built hostel rooms. Now, we 1st years spend our days hosting visits to, the soon to be tenants of OUR hostel, THE SENIORS! At all odd hours come strolling the seniors who pay special visits to our rooms to view which ones’ll be the best for them as their abodes…in the near future, and our so vivid expressions.....

                                     

                                           

                       Ye kyaa huaaa, kaisay huaaa, kyuun huaaaa, kb huaaaa….

                                        And our dreaded fears are increased a 100 fold when we are told highly unceremoniously that the 1^st years are given the “utran” (total leftover rooms) of all the seniors during allotment…

                                              

pleeease leave us and our rooms alone in peace....

                                                

                                    

We’re so like this when bajis declare their ardent desires and plans for our rooms:

                                                

me naiii dun gi, nai dun gi, nai dun gi apna kamra kisi ko....

                      

But we can’t be underestimated, we are nowadays trying our level best to stray the bajis’ thoughts and plans as far away from our rooms as possible. Whenever a baji comes to our room and asks about any specific problem we have during our stay there, we start enumerating the issues as though there could be no other people residing in a worse place than us on the whole planet! It’s quite agonizing to tell such off base lies about our sanctum but that’s the only way to avoid being thrown out of them. And the list of problems starts like:

1.      Baji yahan to bohat shor hota hai, jo bahar corridor me ghar bat kar raha ho uske ronay sunne parte hain
2.             All the songs sung in the washroom are carried so wonderfully by the acoustical effects of the new building to our helpless ears
3.               Yahan to mere bed ko fungus lag gai baji
4.               Signals hi nai atey is room me
5.               Internet ke signals ka to na hi poochen, bra masla hai
6.              Thand idhar bohat hai, new building hai na
7.              Cats bahar ghoomti rehti hain, rooms me ghus jati hain, sara din tang karti hain
8.         Moisture bohat hai air me baji, har cheez geeli ho jati hai

And so on goes the never ending list of complaints until baji raises her hand to silence us all who were heralding the troubles at the top of our voices and then comes the declaration of doom:

“bacho

1. 1)    Shor to har jaga hota hai, koi baat nai
2. 2)    Gaanay to hm khud jaa ke gaatay hain washroom me, washrooms km az km saaf to hain na
3. 3)    Fungal problem to saarey hostel me hai, it’s a common bother
4. 4)    Signals ka masla solve karaana ata hai hume
5. 5)    We have other devices for internet bacho, don’t worry!
6. 6)    What are heaters for, cold can be shunned easily
7. 7)    Cats are the real tenants of this place, we’re used to of their presence plus we have ways to get rid of them
8. 8)    Moisture to aik baar phankay lag gae to khatam ho jaye ga
9. And hence all our efforts are washed away, all hope vanishes and the silver lining in our gloomy future darkens…

Nowadays we are not at all waiting (very patiently, praying that the time stops flying away) for the permanent allotment procedure to begin, and perhaps then we poor 1^st years will be exiled from our building (keep praying dear girls, miracles do happen and that too in this world, we can also hope for one in old girls’ hostel, although the chances are one in a million)…still the world survives on hope.

 Sincerely hoping that we don't have to walk away from our rooms like this...

                          

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