By: Romesa Qaiser Khan, 1st
year.
Module is
such an intriguing word. It has an aura of mystery, a charisma; it is an enigma
that begs to be resolved by those who haven’t experienced it themselves
firsthand.
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| other people everytime someone says "module" |
And here to
shatter all these illusions is a little preview of what module system is
actually like.
- ·
Snoozefests- It is a universally known fact that
any student, when locked in a darkened room with no profess-ional supervision,
will fall asleep. Modules in fact humanely serve this purpose of letting
students rest up after the tiring, demanding workload of the intermodullary
block. The first row students are seen gently swaying like reeds in the wind
and chaos gradually descends with increasing height of rows until the last
benchers can be heard snoring before they are sighted stretched out on
3-4chairs in the anatomical position with an arm dangling here, a chappal lying
there. Indeed the world has seen none equal to these sleeping beauties except
perhaps on buses from Peshawar to Lahore.
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| what backbenchers do. |
 |
what front benchers do.
|
- Proxies, Proxies everywhere- What is sole reason that drives a
medical student to day after day of grueling hardwork and grinding routine?
Why, attendance of course (service to humanity is a close second). Module
lectures can put the infamous Double Shah to shame as the number of students
present multiplies by fours and eights in direct proportion to the number of
times the attendance sheet is circulated in the hall. Module lectures are so
high in demand that even the neighbor of your roommate’s friend’s neighbor
shows up for it (on paper at least). Honesty may be a virtue but attendance is
a necessity.
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| when teachers simply dont understand why we mark proxies. |
- ·
Molecular Biology errmhygawd- If nothing else, the star attraction
of molecular biology (We’re still not entirely sure that this an actual
subject. Research is underway) is sufficient to draw crowds of admirers to the
highly philosophical, well-beloved Dr. Fridoon. Such clarity of concepts, such
eloquence of narration and such importance in the world of practical medicine
has never been held by any other subject in the history of mankind. “Life” is
our favourite bedtime story and all of us carry copies of it in our hearts
(read: phones). We adore this subject. Truly.
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| our usual expression in molecular biology. |
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| And Dr. Fridoon be like.. |
- ·
A Eutopia- The old auditorium itself is nothing
less than paradise in the times of module. The most exotic smells (of
everything from café’s biryani to people themselves to goats), the impenetrable
darkness, the distant beacon of the slideshow that holds sacred knowledge (and
is zero percent visible except to a certain 6/6 indiviual) and the orchestra of
300 people breathing with a few snores mixed in, will literally take your
breath away (as in, suffocate you. And nauseate you. And suffocate you some
more.)
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| what everyone thinks we do. |
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| what we actually do. |
- · INCOMING! Random
books, strange faces and a whole lot of foreign words- The Newton’s law of
the module system holds that:
“For every single
lecture, there are at least thirty slides, multiple books and a legion of
visiting professors.”
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| we second the minion. |
the amount of information imparted to us
defies comprehension (it LITERALLY does).The best brains from Stanford, MIT and
god-knows-where-else are recruited to teach us the highly complex basics
of…cells. They make a lasting impact on our minds (some students still hear
whispers of WNT at 3 in the morning) and probably scar and traumatize our
hippocampus for life. Teaching expertise as the world has never seen is
unleashed on us in this singular hall of doom in full force like the fury of
Zeus. To top it all off, the module ends with us walking the planck (read:
giving a test) in which the foremost question of any significance in everyone’s
mind is, “what happens I fail this?”
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| seems like a legit option. |
Ofcourse the
module system has numerous genuine benefits such as amazing clinical learning,
new medical advances and interesting information, which just happened to slip
my mind while writing this raging litany. Oh and I neglected to mention that
we’re probably getting the best medical education in all of Pakistan too.
However I shall convieniently ignore the fact, like we all do, that whoever
approved this system for us was probably an intellectual genius with a vision.
Rather I gleefully conclude, they just wanted to watch the world burn.
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| their likely expression, whoever they are. |
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