A Semi-serious but essential guide for Upcoming House Officers

About choosing fields

1. Try to do house job with friends. If you do it alone you make make great friends or you may not. My friends and I dropped our merits , changed the choice of our units (only regretted it once) even did less likeable fields but mostly we did it together. That really helped me specially in majors in a big way (in both emotional and social supports) .

2. If you have interest in a field do house job so you can get some perspective. Three of us friends did that a and decided No , Yes and Pretty sure about our prospective fields. (Radio Psych and Eye but not in that order necessarily  :D ) I did Psych even I after being advised against it. And I did it alone. But I didn't regret it. (Even though sometimes being alone really really sucked ) 

3. Do a fun specialty which you definitely know you aren't gonna do in future. I did eye and not only I had fun but I also learned some pretty good ophthalmic bases which are really helpful. (Also I finally let go of the fear of the professor which had strong basis on a terrible viva) . Seriously you should learn more in the field in which you know you aren't coming back ever. 

4. If you think you can do Gynae , go for it. It will save low merit girls and guys being forced in it. 

5. Do peads if you have energy because as everyone knows on one hand you learn a lot . On the other it's the worst basically. 

6.There are two ways of approaching house job. If you do a minor first it will make your merit better (i case you don't want to do Gynae or want to do HJ with friends) but if you have good merit do first rotation kisi kam ki Jaga. Our bay Incharge literally taught us how to handle ER in a couple of hours. 

About actually working 

1. Try to earn to your pay (in case of honourary HOs your certificate) . Don't leave patients alone when they are relying only on you ( on calls and ward weeks specially ).

2. Have fun . Specially in ERs . Ground floors are like running your own hospital (sometimes with competent PGs , other times really on your own ). 

3. Have your stethoscope and Bp apparatus with you in ERs and in wards (in which they are required) . The absence of them just drops your value and respect about 10 stair (cases) in front of seniors. 

4.Try to do procedures if you want. You can really finish house job without a single intubation (which is fine if that's how you want it)

5. Learn from patients. I never opened books (mobiles with 3G are great though) which made me imbecile but also made me learned practical stuff. (Like ERCP Kahan Sey and kitney din mein hoti hai)

6.  Learn to understand your skills. They may be surgical, interactive or managerial. You don't have to go for your skill field but that knowledge is worth knowing. 

7. The real consultants don't need MRIs and CT contrasts for basic stuff. My surgery associate was miraculous in this way. Learn from these people and Promise yourself you won't be the consultant who wants CT contrast that day (without Usg and labs available ) when everyone knows it take 2-3 days (with USG and RFTs) and min 1 if you can prove to radio its absolute necessity. This as my ward knew made for one of my worst days ever :/ 

8. Focus on your work. If you have done your work even the consultants may not know your name but they will know that you are a good egg. :D 

9. Be strict . Be firm. Scold loudly if you have to but never be 'Batmeez' because the formers are for your sanity and patient's health. The latter is just for your ego. 

10. Enjoy the parties. When seniors buy everyone (focus on everyone) lunch in ERs and ward weeks. The aftars on first floor . (Even if your friends forget that you are washed until atleast half an hour after after) 

About people

1. Your registrars will vary from really good (even if they make you do work of two persons in ward week. No I won't ever forget that )  to just bad to departments where literally half the people won't even know who the registrar is. Just do your work and don't have too much fights (but I believe in their healthy dose though) 

2. Don't trust people. They may look benign but they really aren't. All the snake memes of PGs are true. They may be poisonous or not but only 5-10% of PGs aren't snakes. Many of them seem fine but there were also terribly truthful stories told too.  

3. Don't let yourself be harassed. If a PG /Ho makes you feel uncomfortable (even in texting because medicine waley are pretty expert in that)

Reply only if you are interested

Ignore if you aren't interested

Complain if it made you scared

Speak up to seniors (preferably trusted ones. Males or females both can work)

To friends (They know amazing ways. And they can make the harasser feel hell of uncomfortable too trust me)

4.Choose some mentor-ish people. They should be a) shareef to you, b) actually know stuff, c) like spreading knowledge. A is most important but B and C are too. It's better not knowing a thing than thinking you know when you actually don't. 

5.There will be marriages (or not ) between HOs , HOs and PGs and much more. If it doesn't concern you I believe in seeing no evil, hearing no evil , speaking no evil. (But then I am the dumbest person I know about gossip. I come to know about affair when the marriage or the breakups are couple of years old) 

6. If you are a girl do have female PG as friends. (Not all of them are friendship worthy but there are some pretty great ones in medicine, surgery, psyhiatry and radio that I know of) . Because they give it you straight. They will tell you their own stories, warn you of creeps and stand with you in general. And that's something beautiful 

About you

1. You will get existential crises in HJ . Maybe multiple ones ( btw my friend says it's just me ) . They may be due to a death, a baisti , a scandal . You will build a bridge and get over it. 

" It will pass. It may pass like a kidney stone. But it WILL pass"

2. You will lose patients. You will blame yourself when it's not your fault. You will blame others when you think it's yours. Have friends around who truly know what you are feeling.

3. Have fun. Even if you think you are not learning trust me you are. The passive learning done in HJ is unmatched. Truly 

And finally 

PS. Memes are by Facebook pages Charsii Doctor and Notanki Doctor because they make too good memes and nothing I can make can top that.