12 Summer Resolutions that didn't turn out as expected

By Eesha Raazia (2015-2020)

Summer marks the arrival of holidays, although it’s not the luxurious three months holidays for us medicos, still even the forty-day break brings heavenly bliss. Looking forward to the holidays comprises making some long to-do lists, obviously with the amount of work we have piled up during the modules and the amount of sunburns, summer sun has gifted us. We have all these extravagant plans and our minds are focused on one fact: “I will make the most of these holidays.” (Yeah, right! You wish!). We have all kinds of plans ranging from practical to moderately-practical to practically-impossible to impossible-in-each-and-every way.)

Let’s have a look at our resolutions and how they resolved.

1.  Studying will obviously top the to-do list of a medico with holidays actually marking the last bonus prep time you have. There are practical notebooks to be made, unprepared tests to revise, untouched books to be dusted and oh yes! There’s the sweet Prof Season approaching. Anticipating much..?  However, no matter what you do when the holidays have arrived motivation level drops to -273! And the entire vacations scoot by in just making schedules for the work that we are never gonna do.

2.   Then we go on to exploring our artistic side and always have that innocent plan: “I will do some art.” No matter if the people mistake my horse for a dog, it still brings inner satisfaction. (It does, please I swear trust me, and it’s not funny! Come on!)

3.    Girls are most likely to include things like cooking, baking, and learning to make ‘gol rotian’ in their lists as well. This is our pride and no shame. No matter how much fun perverts make, we innately love kitchen and we can’t help it.

However when you enter the kitchen in summer days and most probably while fasting you
suddenly realize that ‘its obvious people like me weren’t born just to cook and stir, we
have bigger purpose in life and until I find it, I’m gonna be in my room sleeping or doing
whatever.’

If we somehow you do find the nerve to cook this happens: 

                               

 4. Since it’d be the holy month of Ramadan we plan to be regular in saying prayers, recite the holy Quran, fast and most importantly avoid all backbiting, gossiping and negative thoughts, they spoil the fast. You don’t wanna stay hungry longing for iftar for nothing; we obviously want the ajar so we keep our evil mouths and brains shut. Everything was going according to the plan. Then this came:

5.    With our nerdy life styles we almost never take out time for exercise and working out but we will this summer. And obviously will not give it up like previous summer! Exercise keeps you young, relaxed and healthy and it burns calories. However the very first try made me cry all night in pain from the goddamned cramps all over my body. And I weighed and looked the same even after that one whole freaking day of work out! How they lie about “you will see the results in no time” yeah, right. Didn’t see them in a whole day’s time, you evils. In short I realized either I’m gonna end up dead or have to quit. Hmm…I wanna live!

6.    A day or two before the vacations I got the chance to look at myself in the mirror. And there it was, my next summer resolution: Getting ‘untanned’ and somewhat presentable!

The Europeans might want to start their schools with those awful ugly tans but we certainly find no such wishes in our hearts. So when the vacations came I racked my brain, shuffled through the beauty magazines and watched all those stupid `5 easy ways for instant result’ videos on internet but no use was scrubbing , cleansing, foaming, washing,  exfoliating, and eventually cursing my beauty products, summer sun and life. Well, I did find a way to at least not be reminded about my hopeless looks all the time.

7.    Not getting up at 2 pm! This was one of my most enthusiastic i-will-do-it-no-matter-what resolutions. I set up alarms, 20 of them because one simply does not hit the snooze button once. I went to bed at 10. At freaking 10. I did not get up at 2 is again either? And next day when I woke up, it wasn’t because of the sunlight falling directly on my face from the windows (although that was also happening). It was because of my family swearing at me things like “ you have been sleeping like a horse for 15 freaking hours, get the hell outta that bed before we give you a bath here” but I guess there simply doesn’t exist  a holiday on which you can wake up before at least 1 p.m.

                                   

 

8.    Losing some pounds didn’t seem a bad idea either and I already had the perfect plan for it with an alternative as well: work out or diet. Since ‘working out’ didn’t work out so let’s move to the alternative; dieting. Well dieting went perfect on first day, only fruits and vegies, fine on second day and third day my mind was ripped in a dilemma.

 

Doughnut and its relatives (junk food, fast food, this food, that food, unhealthy food!) won easily and behold! The fourth day was food day for all those delicious foods that had been shut out for so long and were protesting against this discrimination deserved it as compensation. Although every now and then someone determined to make my life awful tried to remind me about the dieting but I need this food, I seriously do man!

No matter how hard I tried, I failed. Then Ramadan came along and I thought it won’t be a big problem now. We will be fasting, we’ll automatically lose a few pounds and with a little effort we will be able to pull it off but then you sit down for iftar and you see the samosas, pakoras, chaat, rolls, fries, sherbet all you are able to think is:

 

9.    So summer vacations are for relaxing. One totally has to plan a vacation trip to some hill station or beach or some relatives that live in a faraway city. That will surely make the holidays worthwhile. However once you have checked out your budget, you always end up saying: “there’s nowhere more relaxing than home sweet home.”

 

10.    Before the vacation I had decided not to waste my time on social media instead I will read a book or learn and try some life hacks or do anything else but not this. Talk about being realistic!

11. In our normal days we don’t make any time to sit and have small talk with our families being pre-occupied with university studies, friends and activities. This vacation I decided to spend quality time with my family. Well, it didn’t go as I had planned because it turned out my siblings are just like me, plain stupid! So no use.

My dad just can’t believe that I’m only talking to him and not planning on asking for money, his car, new phone, signature on freshly failed tests (hey dad, you may not know but I’m in university! I don’t actually need you to sign my tests anymore -_- ) or new parents after this talk!

And mom is simply determined to blame me for our low income, poor social relations, small house, and under-development of Pakistan and peace issues in world. She suspects I have a hand in 9/11. What else do I do on those horrible tech devices (laptop, mobile or iPad? She could be referring to any of these) so I just end up blowing up.

12.Eventually after failing at all above and dying of boredom, I lie sloppily feeling miserable, pathetic and desperate for something fun to do.

And then like the first ray of sunshine, like the rain in desert, like the light at the end of a dark tunnel (I’m not exaggerating); I found the answer to my boredom and the perfect way to waste my time in enjoyment. Watch seasons! Of course, that was God’s answer to all my prayers, (well, maybe it wasn’t but it’s a perfect way to waste time for lazy people like me!)

Hence I concluded that it’s not summer without summer holidays and there are no holidays unless you have made a million resolutions for them and there is no fun unless you have failed to carry out every other plan and simply ended up wasting your time. But I also concluded its fine since holidays are meant to provide us relaxation and if we get it by just lazing around then it’s still pretty much okay, right?